And that’s what’s going to carry you. Not credentials, not how fast you are able to spit things out and get things done but, the care, love, and approach of doing things. And for me that means taking small little footsteps of meticulous soul-crafted work.
Somethings in life are meant to be and some aren’t. And the only way to figure that out is by learning many things. Even when something you try doesn’t work out, the knowledge of the result is valuable in itself.
Something that I tried for the past couple of months was being a barista. My journey to becoming a barista started off with coffee training at the cafe’s training house. I learned the science of coffee making as well as the company culture. It was new and exciting, I made friends who are in all kinds of different places in their lives. I kept going. After a few days, training at the house became applying that knowledge in the cafe. I was on register and drip for most of the months. I felt accomplishment when I was able to help our customers but at the same time it was exhausting work, cranking drinks out minute after minute. Still I kept going. It wasn’t until the last month when I became a cafe zombie. I was taking orders and making drinks with no brain behind bar. There was no ambition, nothing to look forward to, no new challenge, and no time after work to take care of myself. To work on my craft. It was soul-sucking work, and it took a long and hard while for me to figure out that being a barista wasn’t for me. So, I quit.
For a while after I quit I felt slightly guilty for my actions. It seems as though in a way I have failed. I have failed to come through with my commitments, I have failed to work harder, I have failed as a worker because I was not excelling at the same rate as my co-workers. Feelings started to flow. Feeling that I may never be able to work anywhere because of my skill or smarts. These feelings spilled like thread unraveling on a spool and It won’t stop unless I cut it off. It wasn’t all me though. The people who are precious in my life was able to recognize my unhappiness working at the cafe and pushed me to take action. To gain my life back. And I am lucky and grateful to have those people in my life. Those people who support me and encourage me and challenge me to be my best. These people have taught me that I just need to keep working on my craft and to never give up. What people bring, what I bring: wisdom, knowledge, is unique-rare. And that’s what’s going to carry you. Not credentials, not how fast you are able to spit things out and get things done but, the care, love, and approach of doing things. And for me that means taking small little footsteps of meticulous soul-crafted work.
Quitting was liberating but at the same time it was a risky step. I no longer had a financial safety net. I must face telling my parents that I am unemployed and all the asian interrogations after, but the most risky part is that if I wanted to succeed in a creative career, I was going to have to do deep work. And deep work requires massive concentration and discipline, something difficult to achieve in an information consumed world.
And as someone who is stubborn, this challenge sounded too good to give up.
